If we had worked out,
I wouldn’t be driving these country roads
Alone
Marveling at the droplets on my windshield
Drinking in the rolling hills
Alive with rich soil and industrious earthworms and decorated with sleepy herds
I wouldn’t be alone
and know who I am
Facing the next country with eyes ready to drink in the rising cliffs and iris waters
If we had worked out,
I would have had sparkling eyes for you
Only
Considering all the ways I could make you happy
Listening and twisting
Hoping I would be enough
It would have been good
You would have heard this poem first
Instead my heart drinks in the whole world
Hoping to see enough and feel enough
To say adieu
Over coffee at high tide inn
From the woods and the misty sea
The calls ring out without rhythm
A trill from the tip of the tree
And a quiet crooning from the water
A jubilant cry from the shore
As if to say, I’m here, I’m here
You haven’t met me before
We don’t judge the water fowl for their howl or the swallow for its tremble
We listen and accept the call
It’s simply their way
Of finding their mate
And greeting the day
Across the ancient depths and shores
The waves move rhythmically evermore
Sculpting cliffs that man ignores
And channeling him to golden land
Singing softly, you’re not in control
You’ll have to follow the cards in your hand
Do we doubt the ocean’s power or promise when the tide runs out?
We observe and accept there’s a time
When the seas will come again
But for now, we can walk upon the rocks
And take up what the tide brought in
Atlanta rain
A breeze blows down from the navy blue clouds
Lightening the melancholy
Of a bus bench in Atlanta
It could be rain or a momentary space for relief
I better go
Before it pours and ruins
My clothes and
Brand new laptop
Oh that I didn’t have to worry about material things
I want to stand in the pouring rain and feel it fall straight to my soul
Cleansing the heaviness and worry and apathy
Make me whole again
Living into the day with my heart wide open so the water penetrates
Where things don’t matter
And neither does my narrative
Where the joy of soul finding You
Sends me straight into the rain without fear
A poem for the rootless
I thought home was made of memories
The fort we built with Dad
The creek we claimed as explorers
The couch where Mom read
But I am no longer that child,
Where is my home now?
Perhaps home is a place of origin
The food my family eats
The way the plants grow
The music that warms my soul
But when the flaws of my people show,
Who am I now?
Maybe home is the people I choose
The birthday party goers
The people I look up to
The friends who have my back
But I change; they change,
Who will love me now?
I guess home could be a dream
The city that seems green
A better place for my health
Opportunity to settle down
What if I’m as lonely there as now?
What if home wasn’t something
I touch or see or know —
It’s not built in a town
Or my dream world
Or a circle of friends
All those things fade
Home is coming (not going)
An inheritance
Imperishable
Undefiled
Unfading
The owner of my home is not me
He’s my Father and my God
He picked me up out of darkness
Reborn, wrapped in swaddling clothes
He taught me not to fight
To relax and know
I am safe
He is God
Not I
In this I rejoice —
My home is more precious than gold
It will not fade, nor fall away
It is not tarnished by my trials
It is protected,
Guarded
I believe in this home
Rejoicing in hope, for I am
Born again
In Him
Two stories by a stream
The lone fisherman waits
Letting loose a little more string
Knowing that once he baits
The cold morning will be worth everything
The salmon, he swims
Following engrained nature’s call
He’s here with his pack
And joined by a stranger, young and tall
The man stares up at the mountain
In gratitude, he ponders
The bounty before him
And the girl who’s with him
Wherever he wanders
Caught! A feeling of surprise
For both the man and fish
Who lead very different lives
One life ended
Another’s day just begun
It just happens to be the way
Their stories were spun
Tips for Ethical and Sustainable Shopping
The first time I heard about the problems of fast fashion, I skimmed the blog and forgot it as soon as possible.
The scale of the problem overwhelmed me. Justifying my apathy, I reasoned that I didn’t buy that many clothes after all, and it’s not like I personally was putting a woman in slavery. That woman was halfway around the world. The fashion industry and capitalism were to blame – not me. Even if I did try to buy consciously, it wouldn’t make a difference. Furthermore, I couldn’t afford it as a “poor” college student. All complete lies.
The sad thing about the big problems of the world right now is that no one thinks they are responsible. It’s someone else’s problem. But if you have wealth and security, it is your duty to watch out for those who do not.
Fast forward a few years later. I’m studying the book of James with my community group, and we read this verse in chapter 5: “Behold, the wages of the laborers who mowed your fields, which you kept back by fraud, are crying out against you, and the cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord of hosts. You have lived on the earth in luxury and in self-indulgence.”
I believe that the Bible is always applicable to our lives. Perhaps the scene feels outdated, but there is truth there. I don’t own fields, but I do wear cotton. I don’t manage harvesters, but I do buy clothing stitched in factories. In the modern age, we are so far separated from the actual origin of our purchases that we forget that an actual human was involved in the making of that purchase. Our purchases affect other people’s livelihoods.
If you take your responsibility seriously, you need to ensure your purchases are both ethical (good for people) and sustainable (good for the world). Here’s a few tips I’ve learned over the past year:
Watch out for greenwash. Don’t assume that something is eco-friendly or ethical just because the label says it is. In fact, assume that it’s not until proven otherwise. How do you know if you can trust it? Look for specifics on traceability and transparency, rather than general language. Download the Good on You app to look up the brand before making a purchase. This social impact business ranks brands on certifications like Fair Trade, OEKO-TEX and the Global Organic Textile Standard (GOTS), as well as looking deeper into other actions that they claim to take.
Purge your social media of brands that aren’t sustainable and ethical. Instead, fill your feed with pages like @fash_rev and @goodonyou_app. Some of my favorite brands are @vettacapsule, @wearpact, and @wyldergoods. This will help you not covet new items you can’t have, while learning more about slow fashion.
Hold on to what you have. There is nothing more sustainable than rewearing clothing. You are making sure it doesn’t end up in a landfill! Even if it wasn’t made sustainably or ethically in the first place, that’s okay. You can’t change that, but you can control the rest of its existence… whether that’s rewearing, reselling or recycling.
Shop secondhand. Try out your classic Goodwill or resale shops like Buffalo Exchange. I’ve personally really enjoyed this shift, and I tend to get more compliments on secondhand clothes anyways. They are more unusual, and because you had to do the hard work of digging for them, secondhand clothes fit your personal style better than a trendy item you bought off a rack.
Swap with your friends. This has literally been my lifesaver over the last year! Before taking clothes to resale shops, my friends let me take anything I want. It’s also helpful for last-minute outfits when you don’t have the time or money to buy something new from an ethical retailer. Need a pair of slacks or a new dress for a wedding? Chances are your friends can help you out.
Repair and reuse your clothing. If you’re used to buying cheap boots that wear out after a year, this might be a new one for you. High quality clothes and shoes LAST. Track down your local tailor and boot repair shop, and find ways to make your clothes last longer. And don’t buy something that you wouldn’t want to pay to mend!
Give yourself grace. There will be times when you aren’t wearing the exact right thing. I had to show up to a couple work meetings in New York where I felt underdressed. I couldn’t afford a new coat from an ethical brand and I didn’t have time to find one secondhand. But you know what? I made it, and I have a great relationship with those clients. In the end, people care more about how you treat them than how you look.
The main thing to remember is that if you have the funds to buy new clothes, you also have the ability to shop sustainably and ethically. This may mean less clothes, but a new shirt is not worth supporting someone else’s slavery. Vote for change at the cash register.
Camping in Utah: January Edition
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from visiting dozens of National Parks:
GO IN OFF-SEASON.
The iconic parks like Yosemite, Yellowstone and Arches are absolutely gorgeous, but there’s nothing quite like crowds of tourists to take the magic out of something. You might have to tough out some uncomfortable weather, but it’s 100% worth it.
My brother, our childhood friend Hannah, and myself knocked out four National Parks in Utah in less than six days this January! The snow made the red rock formations into a winter wonderland. Not to mention, we got the chance to do some of the most famous hikes without a person in sight. You can download my Google Sheet itinerary if you’d like. It includes everything: driving time, campsite locations, food and even our spending. Below is a quick overview of our itinerary!
Spend the bulk of your time in Zion and Arches. These parks have long hikes that are worth half your day at least!
Day 1 - Drive from Vegas to Zion National Park
Angels Landing is no joke! The final 1/5 mile follows a steep ridge with chains the whole way.
Vegas is an easy, international airport, that’s only two and a half hours from Zion National Park. You could also look into Salt Lake City. Since I flew Southwest, I packed my camping gear and checked two huge suitcases for free.
We chose to rent a Subaru Outback from an absolute gem of a Turo host, Ruth! She greeted me with a hug and even recommended a campsite. Her car comes equipped with a tub of gear leftover from past campers.
That night, we camped for free on BLM (Bureau of Land Management) land. If you do this, please be respectful to the land. Clean up your trash, and only camp in designated areas. However, this is a great way to make camping more cost-effective. The other plus of BLM land? Great stars and no people.
Day 2 - Explore Zion National Park
Despite coming off a week of conference work, we started off our trip with a sunrise summit to the legendary Angels Landing (5 stars). Called “America’s scariest hike” by some blogs, I was prepared for the worst. Though it’s certainly steep with almost 1500 feet elevation gain in a short five miles, we conquered it quickly and didn’t think it was too bad. Just be prepared to climb! From reading other people’s experiences, I think it’s a lot harder with more people on the trail. Long sections of this trail are so steep and narrow that only one person can pass. We were lucky to finish the hike early in the day before the crowds started to arrive. Even in mid-January, the parking lot was filled up by around 10 am. I can’t even imagine what the summer months must be like.
Other hikes we completed that day: Watchman Trail (3 stars) and Canyon Overlook (4 stars)
Day 3 - Drive from Zion to Moab; Explore Canyonlands
Mesa Arch. It’s a short 0.6 mile loop trail that anyone could handle. I’d recommend coming at sunrise.
This was the perfect driving day. It takes about five and a half hours to get from Zion to the Moab area! We fit in Canyonlands into an afternoon easily. It’s a smaller park with short hikes.
Mesa Arch (3 stars) is the most famous sight here, and you’ll recognize it from screensavers for sure. If you have to skip a park, I would just spend more time in Arches though!
We were planning to camp in BLM land again, but everything was covered in a foot of snow. At the recommendation of a park ranger, we went to a campground near the river in Moab that had more shelter from the elements, as it was in a gorge by the river. Goose Island Campground! Absolutely beautiful. We put our tent under a pavilion that’s normally for a group site, because the campground was empty.
Day 4: Explore Arches National Park
One of the arches on Devils Garden trail. Since it was several miles into the snowy trail, we were completely alone.
Arches National Park blew me away. The number of arches and the sheer magnitude… you can’t believe it ‘til you see it. We started with a sunrise hike to the most popular one, Delicate Arch (5 stars). It’s the one on the Utah license plate. (If you’re noticing a trend, we did sunrise hikes every day. After all, we were too cold to sleep in!)
Then, my favorite hike of the trip… Devils Garden Loop Trail with 7 Arches (5 stars). You get to see several famous arches on this hike, but furthermore, it will help you get off the beaten trail too. In the winter, you might not be able to hike the whole loop though. We had snow spikes on our boots, and the ranger warned us that most people had turned around recently. In one dicey spot, you’re faced with scrambling down an icy, 30 foot cliff. I took a fall and that did have my adrenaline rushing. Please be careful. If you can make it though, you’ll be paid with stunning views as you hike on narrow ridges and up through gorges.
We ended the day with the The Windows trail (4 stars). The afternoon light is best here, and I’d definitely recommend planning for sunset here if possible.
Day 5: Leave Moab; Explore Bryce; Head to Zion
Bryce Canyon is best appreciated from inside the canyon! I adored walking through tunnel doors and weaving through the towers.
We flew out of Vegas as well, so we had to head back east! On our way, we stopped for the afternoon in Bryce Canyon. After the more adventurous/primitive experiences, we were a little underwhelmed honestly. You have to work for the view to truly enjoy it, but this park was just a little too… easy? However, once we started along the Queen’s Garden + Navajo Loop Trail (4 stars), we were in love again with the winter wonderland. It’s a totally different experience than the other parks. This one is like walking inside a spirally sand castle. In the snow, you definitely need spikes for your boots on this one!
Day 6: Explore Zion; Head back to Vegas
My brother and I have a tradition these days — our last night of a camping trip, we get a bed and a shower! Yep, we cheat. But we justified the splurge by saying that it’s really for the benefit of the person next to us on the plane. We checked into an AirBNB in Springdale and picked up our gear for the next day.
We made the most of our last half day in Utah by trekking through The Narrows (5 stars)! You need full dry suit gear and sturdy walking stick for this one. We also started before sunrise on this hike, using our headlamps to walk the first mile of the trail down to the river. Once there, it’s all wading in water from there on out. Our gear from Zion Outfitters kept us nice and dry though. The water did go through our boots, but thankfully water actually works as an insulator to keep you warm.
That’s all! I hope you pluck up the courage to visit Utah in January now. I already want to go back.
Cookbook Confessions: I Made Soup Twice
In college, I wrote a column in the school newspaper, called “Cookbook Confessions.” I’d look through 100-year-old cookbooks and find the wackiest recipes – things like pig’s feet and prune cake. My little college kitchen saw several disasters, but lots of laughs. It was an adventure every time, and I had to be really resourceful to come up with substitutions and alternate techniques. For example, I learned how to can pickles in my oven.
Recently though, my cooking has become really BORING. I meal prep the same foods over and over again, and while this is certainly efficient, the side effect is that I’m choosing to eat out more. (As in, I’m a Chick-fil-A One Silver Member.) To kick this habit, I’m attempting to cook more interesting, healthy recipes using the Defined Dish Cookbook. It’s a Whole30 cookbook from a delightful, Texan gal named Alex Snodgrass. My friend Becca and I are doing it together, and it’s also a way to bring a little more spice to our friendship.
I’m bringing cookbook confessions back.
I’ve already had one revelation. If you’re on a tight budget like me, the bulk spice isle at Central Market will be your best friend. The Defined Dish cookbook sells itself as simple, weeknight meals, but honestly it’s still a ton of new ingredients! I picked up some oregano for seven cents and some cayenne pepper for 12 cents.
Onto the actual cooking – I started with the Greek Lemon and Oregano Potato Soup. It’s January and it’s the weekend, which means comfort food central.
My first attempt was an utter failure. To keep the story short, I poured in some expired chicken broth into my carefully chopped potatoes, garlic and onion. RUINING EVERYTHING. But I’m nothing if not determined (at least for the first few days of a new hobby, okay), so I started again today from scratch.
I had a couple hiccups along the way. For one, I don’t have a lid for my large pot. Tis, the life of a 26-year-old gal. Most of my kitchen gear is cast-offs of roommates who got married and left their unwanted pots behind. Proof that even single people can gain from wedding registries! Second, I don’t have an immersion blender. My Ninja blender did the job though… with lots of mess. Don’t fill the whole thing up! The steam pushed the liquid spurting out.
However, the recipe was overall fairly easy and crazy delicious. It was a little bland for my taste at first, so I doubled the cayenne pepper. Then boop, bop, boop.. I plunked in some meatballs in too. Alex recommended adding meatballs to another soup in the book, so I stole the idea. Thankfully, I already had some mini turkey meatballs in the freezer.
“My husband and kids are never super-thrilled when soup is on the menu. But when I add meatballs? Very different story. Suddenly a meh dinner is one that everyone is excited about – and without a lot of extra effort.”
Meatballs in soup are my new favorite thing. Meatballs, and homemade bread. The end.
A Poem for Pemberton
Our AirBnB hosts in Pemberton, British Columbia, had a little leather-bound guest book in their living room. On the last day, I wrote this little ode to their cozy, handmade cabin.
Frosted fields and farm fresh eggs,
Icy nights and fireside gazing,
A dichotomy —
Comfort in the wild.
We were loved,
By the varnished beams
Laid in place by sturdy arms
And a familiar stranger’s smile.
This is a safe retreat.
So I Trust
Inspired by studying the book of Isaiah last fall.
I wrote three stanzas inspired by the favorite passages of myself and friends Selena and Caitlin. Then, Selena helped me write two more stanzas, and we added a harmony line. She has an absolutely beautiful voice, and her tone melds into mine. We loved making this together!
Even when the city falls,
Sin rushes in and destroys it all,
I’ve failed once again,
How can He bear my sin?
I hear, “Let us go —
You are not alone,
And I’ve made you a home.
You are free.
For your ways are not My ways,
And your thoughts are not My thoughts,
I am the Most High God.
Trust and fear not.”
So I trust, I trust in You.
You make all things new;
You are all things true.
You say, “Come to Me —
You will be satisfied
With rich food and good wine.
You are full.
You keep me in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on you.
Because I trust in You,
I am healed and renewed.
So I trust, I trust in You.
You make all things new;
You are all things true.
For your anger turned away
That you might comfort me,
I will trust in You.
I will not be afraid.
So I trust, I trust in You.
You make all things new;
You are all things true.